My Boys

My Boys

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Equal Love

Recently, I got back in touch with an old classmate who, like me, has quit her job to be a full-time cat mom. Now, many people might find this crazy but those who love cats will understand. A fact that even many cat lovers and cat caretakers don’t know, ignore, or are forced by circumstances to ignore is the need for attention and affection of these amazing creatures. Although quite independent, and often fiercely so, they cannot thrive if left entirely to their devices. Therefore, giving them enough time and attention is a must. This is especially tricky in a multi-cat household. Both attention and affection have to be equally distributed to everyone under circumstances where the definition and level of requirement for both these things differs from cat to cat.

Pippin, for instance, likes to be brushed and groomed and cuddled and petted. A tummy rub is an especial favourite treat. He rarely imposes himself on our attention but it does not mean that he will not react badly to being ignored a lot. When not given enough attention and affection, all cats tend to get depressed. He also expects to be fed on – and preferably before – time. His other favourite activity is playing, with us encouraging him on. When he sleeps, he really likes to use my foot or ankle as a pillow. If mine is unavailable, his dad’s also suffices.

Merry’s case is a different one altogether. His mood swings remind me of a Bengali nursery rhyme about a boy named Natu Babu, whose moods moved from despondent to irritable to pleasant to exhilarated from Monday through Sunday. Merry hates Mondays with an intensity unmatched by the laziest of office goers! As the week moves towards the weekend, his mood invariably improves. Attention and affection, of course, have to be lavished in inverse proportion to keep him motivated enough to be “normal”. And yes, it is connected directly to his dad’s office days and hours.

Sam does not go through mood swings. What he does go through, however, is envy of my laptop. He cannot bear to see the thing sitting on my lap. Whenever he notices it, he trots over to me and bunts the laptop with his head until I move it. But even that is not enough! If the laptop is anywhere within reach, he keeps bunting it until it is removed too far for me to use it. He may or may not stay long in my lap, but that is inconsequential as long as the awful laptop does not. He also loves to snuggle against my tummy while sleeping at night.

Frodo is a lazy guy these days and hardly ever leaves the armchair in the bedroom. However, at the same time, he starts getting sad of he is not encouraged to leave it. Go figure! One thing he does every night is accompanying us when we go to bed. There, he consistently rubs against us and mrrows, demanding to be petted and cuddled. No sleep for anyone otherwise. Afterwards, he turns around a few times and settles down between my legs to sleep, making a pillow out of my thigh. It’s weird, but it’s his thing. If I'm lying on my side, he’ll sleep between his dad’s legs too.

Evie is perhaps the most undemanding and unassuming cat there is. All she wants is a bowl of milk when she leaves her room for the first time in the morning, and maybe a few titbits from our breakfast table. And a goodly amount of petting by her dad. When she leaves her room for the second time, around eleven-thirty, she likes to be petted a little bit. But, mostly, she likes to snuggle by me on the sofa while I work. Sometimes she sits in the balcony or watches birds, but mostly it’s snuggling and sleeping time. She’s at her mellowest. In the evening, it’s playtime. If I don’t play with her, she gets bored.


So, like I said before, it is tricky. Giving equal time and attention to all five isn't as simple as spending fifteen minutes per head petting them and playing with them. They all need different types and levels of attention and affection. Anything less is not enough. This is not to say that I am highly successful at doing this. Of course not! I manage – more or less. And every day I hope and try to do better. Depending on how they are feeling, some days are happier for all concerned than some other days. But in the end, I think, they know that we are trying and love us back with all their heart. And that makes everything worth it!