Equal Love

Recently, I got back in touch with an old classmate who, like me, has quit her job to be a full-time cat mom. Now, many people might find this crazy but those who love cats will understand. A fact that even many cat lovers and cat caretakers don’t know, ignore, or are forced by circumstances to ignore is the need for attention and affection of these amazing creatures. Although quite independent, and often fiercely so, they cannot thrive if left entirely to their devices. Therefore, giving them enough time and attention is a must. This is especially tricky in a multi-cat household. Both attention and affection have to be equally distributed to everyone under circumstances where the definition and level of requirement for both these things differs from cat to cat.

Pippin, for instance, likes to be brushed and groomed and cuddled and petted. A tummy rub is an especial favourite treat. He rarely imposes himself on our attention but it does not mean that he will not react badly to being ignored a lot. When not given enough attention and affection, all cats tend to get depressed. He also expects to be fed on – and preferably before – time. His other favourite activity is playing, with us encouraging him on. When he sleeps, he really likes to use my foot or ankle as a pillow. If mine is unavailable, his dad’s also suffices.

Merry’s case is a different one altogether. His mood swings remind me of a Bengali nursery rhyme about a boy named Natu Babu, whose moods moved from despondent to irritable to pleasant to exhilarated from Monday through Sunday. Merry hates Mondays with an intensity unmatched by the laziest of office goers! As the week moves towards the weekend, his mood invariably improves. Attention and affection, of course, have to be lavished in inverse proportion to keep him motivated enough to be “normal”. And yes, it is connected directly to his dad’s office days and hours.

Sam does not go through mood swings. What he does go through, however, is envy of my laptop. He cannot bear to see the thing sitting on my lap. Whenever he notices it, he trots over to me and bunts the laptop with his head until I move it. But even that is not enough! If the laptop is anywhere within reach, he keeps bunting it until it is removed too far for me to use it. He may or may not stay long in my lap, but that is inconsequential as long as the awful laptop does not. He also loves to snuggle against my tummy while sleeping at night.

Frodo is a lazy guy these days and hardly ever leaves the armchair in the bedroom. However, at the same time, he starts getting sad of he is not encouraged to leave it. Go figure! One thing he does every night is accompanying us when we go to bed. There, he consistently rubs against us and mrrows, demanding to be petted and cuddled. No sleep for anyone otherwise. Afterwards, he turns around a few times and settles down between my legs to sleep, making a pillow out of my thigh. It’s weird, but it’s his thing. If I'm lying on my side, he’ll sleep between his dad’s legs too.

Evie is perhaps the most undemanding and unassuming cat there is. All she wants is a bowl of milk when she leaves her room for the first time in the morning, and maybe a few titbits from our breakfast table. And a goodly amount of petting by her dad. When she leaves her room for the second time, around eleven-thirty, she likes to be petted a little bit. But, mostly, she likes to snuggle by me on the sofa while I work. Sometimes she sits in the balcony or watches birds, but mostly it’s snuggling and sleeping time. She’s at her mellowest. In the evening, it’s playtime. If I don’t play with her, she gets bored.

So, like I said before, it is tricky. Giving equal time and attention to all five isn't as simple as spending fifteen minutes per head petting them and playing with them. They all need different types and levels of attention and affection. Anything less is not enough. This is not to say that I am highly successful at doing this. Of course not! I manage – more or less. And every day I hope and try to do better. Depending on how they are feeling, some days are happier for all concerned than some other days. But in the end, I think, they know that we are trying and love us back with all their heart. And that makes everything worth it!

BIG DAY

Monday, the 13^th of January, was a big day for my babies.

The first ordeal they had to endure was the clipping of their claws. Most of them, though protesting, were quite docile enough. Eva, who is usually very high spirited and believes that scratching and biting are the most effective ways of displaying affection, was surprisingly unprotesting. Sam was the one who dug in his heels, figuratively speaking, and refused to let me do the job. In the end, I failed to clip the claws of his right hand...sorry, paw. That one was clipped later at night after his father returned.

I paid the price for this a little later during their second ordeal of the day. Deworming. Eva, again, proved surprisingly pliable. It never ceases to amaze the father of my kits how she never fights back whenever I clip her nails or give her any medicine. He, on the other hand, even without doing any of those things, has arms that resemble a lion tamer’s—evidence of how much Eva loves to play with her dad! Anyway, back to deworming. Pippin, who is still quite huge despite the weight-loss programme in progress, needed the maximum number of doses. It isn’t easy to get a cat to swallow a pill even when you take it by surprise. And after the first dose—administering which was difficult enough—it just got more difficult. Sam didn’t give me much trouble except the scratch on my palm that is still looking rather reddish. The power of the unclipped claws of the right paw! Frodo and Merry were pretty cool with the thing though not really appreciative either. Merry didn’t throw up the pills and that was almost a Christmas miracle. Pippin did throw up after the last dose but the pill didn’t come out, so all was well.

The biggest event was the third one, an incident so massive that it has no precedent in their entire lives. Ok, that’s exaggeration but given their reactions, I might be forgiven. My brother, their uncle, came to visit with his family. My nephew Ayush is now old enough to crawl about. He’s also standing up, holding on to things. He was super-excited on seeing his ‘elder brothers’ and could not wait to get a hold of them. They, on the other hand, were terrified. They ran about like the extras on the sets of a zombie movie, hiding under tables, chairs and beds and in the bathroom. Frodo went under the bed within moments of Ayush’s arrival and emerged only during mealtimes as long as he was there. He came out one time in between but my sister-in-law was trying to get Ayush to sleep in that room at the time and as soon as he saw Ayush, Frodo again ducked for cover.

Merry proved to be the bravest of the lot. Though he too decided that discretion is the better part of valour, he did approach Ayush a few times from a distance. He ran away as soon as Ayush tried to reach back but it was heartening to see the two of them trying to make friends. He was also very helpful, as befits his position as Alpha of the family. My sister-in-law was heating water in the microwave to make Ayush’s Cerelac, and when the water was hot, the microwave beeped. Merry immediately called out to inform her, in case she, being a stranger to the household equipment, had not understood!

Pippin wasn’t as brave but he did stick around. He has always been a little more prone to hissing than the others. We can’t get over the memory of him hissing at us when he first came to our home—this tiny, 3-inch kitten hissing furiously whenever we tried to touch him. It was hilarious! He still resorts to hissing now and then when he is scared or startled. He once hissed at the vet’s assistant who is actually quite good at handling all sorts of animals. The poor boy hadn’t done anything wrong but Pip is just fed up of being stuck with needles after all the times he has had to go to the vet and that time he decided to express how he felt about it all. The boy was suitably intimidated and refused to handle Pip any more that day. Nothing to despair though. Pip’s been to the vet again since then and hasn’t hissed again. The assistant can still handle him with ease. Anyway, to come back to the current matter, Pip hissed at Ayush twice—once as soon as Ayush approached him the first time, and once when the three white cats were sitting in the kitchen and Ayush slowly crawled up to them and reached out to touch Pip who was sitting on the chair. I think Ayush did touch Pip though we couldn’t see very clearly. Pip hissed—less loudly than the first time—and fled into the bathroom which, incidentally, became a sort of safe haven for the boys that day. Almost all of them, with the exception of Frodo, took shelter there at some point of time or the other.

Sam fared worse than Pippin, as the video attached with this post will show. When Pip ran into the bathroom, where Ayush could not follow, he turned to Sam who had been sitting under the table. Sam fled through the house with Ayush in hot pursuit. I think I’ll let you see the rest for yourself!

The two most hilarious event of the evening were when Ayush was trying to explore the boys’ feeding bowls and they came hurrying out, only to disperse almost immediately, and when Ayush discovered the boys’ water bucket. This bucket is a result of a bad habit of my boys. They love to drink from buckets! Despite being provided clean drinking water, they would invariably drink from the buckets in the bathroom. Fed up and concerned, we stopped storing water in the bathroom buckets and bought a steel one for their drinking water. This bucket sits in a corner of the living room and the boys drink from it. Ayush was so excited to discover this bucket that he splashed his hand in it and started wiping the floor with it! We couldn’t stop laughing. Unfortunately there’s no video footage of this.

Anyway, it was quite an exciting day for everyone. And quite a memorable one too. My sister-in-law has become quite friendly with the boys. She stroked some or the other—I can’t remember whom—and he was quite happy. My brother went to say goodbye to Eva and she was thrilled. She almost even purred for him. He was thrilled too! Hopefully, there will be more actual interaction between everyone once Ayush is a little older and Eva and the boys become friends. God alone knows when that will be but one lives in hope...

The Cat That Ate Croissants

This one's a repost from FB Notes. Original is by Subroto Bhattacharya, my uncle (my father's first cousin). With his permission of course. I should have probably asked Miss Fuzzball's permission instead but she isn't on Facebook!!!

The Cat that ate Croissants

September 18, 2013 at 9:14am

Well, I ain't always right but I've never been wrong.

Seldom turns out the way it does in a song.

Once in a while you get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right.

My eldest, the philosopher has insomnia. We had always suspected this was the case, but being laid back parents we felt we could sleep on it a while and only address the issue if it got out of hand. He has a room on the very top floor of the house and his door is almost permanently locked. We found it easier to just let him be, as long as he did his academic work reasonably and did not get into trouble.

Well, this summer we found out in a very unexpected way that he does have insomnia that is pretty noticeable. He was involved in a motor vehicle accident and for two weeks had a pair of very sore knees that prevented him from climbing up the three flights of stairs to get to his room. For the time, he slept on the sofa in the family room and I slept on the adjacent sofa to be sure that if he needed anything during the night, I was right there to get it for him.

Our two cats are sisters from the same litter. Indoor cats that are ten years old, they are as different from each other as chalk and cheese both in size, weight as well as personalities. However, they can both sense when something is not quite right, especially with our philosopher. You see, Miss Fuzzball, the skinnier one, absolutely WORSHIPS my son. We firmly believe that she is really a dog masquerading inside of a cat’s body! 

While Miss Furry, is the fat slothful one who loves to sit on the sofa and watch TV while having a warm body (any warm body) next to her to cuddle too, Miss Fuzzball has eyes just for my son. She would sit like a sphinx (since he locked his door to keep her out) outside of his room all day until he came back from school. Once he did, she would follow him wherever he went. There was no mewing or pawing or vocal token of her love. She was just glad to have him back and be his shadow. For his part, he accepted her adoration with a naturalness that we slowly realized was what was so endearing about him. He was a natural through and through. He would never perform to please you, nor fake it for the limelight. 

On the rare occasion that he left his door open she would climb up and sleep on him when she could. Early mornings, when I woke him up for school, I would find her curled on his back looking at me with the “don’t you DARE disturb him!” look. Well, this summer, when he was injured, Miss Fuzzball hung around him and often got in the way in an annoying sort of way. I sighed and gently pushed her away every time she tried to get on top of him. Not surprising, I thought, seeing that the last year we have had ALL kinds of issues with Miss. Fuzzy.

Last year Miss Fuzzball lost almost two pounds in weight. We wondered what was wrong but came to no real conclusions. And then it all got stranger. The cat, that was much less selfish and food obsessed than her sister, started climbing up on counter tops and eating human food! Now that really got us all worked up, perhaps not so much for the cat’s benefit as for concerns for our own safety and hygiene. What I did not remember is that last year my son left home to go to college.

And so Miss Fuzzball was packed into a carrier and off we went to the vet, who interestingly was Dr. Bird at the Feline Hospital in Salem! I simply adored this woman. She had an instinctive understanding of animals and came across almost like a cat magician! 

With a variety of needles stuck in a variety of places, blood and urine samples were drawn, that all came back normal! But in the course of the exam Dr. Bird asked if the cat had shown a preference to any particular type of food. I thought about this and did have an answer – Croissants and Pasta! She would sniff around other things surreptitiously on the counter top but these two things were the things she really loved.

After an entire year of dealing with this we got a little fed up with it all. But it all changed when my son was injured. The cat just wanted to be close to him and I, afraid that she might hurt him who was already hurt by car and long board, pushed her away in some exasperation. In the month that he took to heal from the initial worst of the injuries, I totally ignored the cat which, now that I recall, still hung around although at a more respectable distance, now that she knew my lowered tolerance for her behavior. Strange, isn’t it, how animals understand unspoken language so much faster than humans do??

Well, he went off the college the same week that the cat went back for her physical and rabies shots. This time, my niece accompanied me to the vet and since Miss Fuzzy had lost more weight, we went through the routine of the expensive blood tests yet again. Not expecting any new answers, I asked the vet that we saw, Dr. Ternes, why Fuzzy would eat pasta and croissants. She looked up and said “Looks like that is what your son fed her. Now that he is not here, it’s one way for her to connect with him”

I left the vet’s office quietly. I was simply blown away. In twenty seconds, this woman who worked with cats all her life had easily pointed out the answers that were right under my nose!! How could I have NOT seen it?? Of course I realized now, why Miss Fuzzy ate pasta and croissants. She must have accompanied my insomniac philosopher downstairs to the kitchen on many a late night while we were fast asleep and he must have fed her a few scraps of whatever he was snacking on at the time. And I do know for a fact that my philosopher loved croissants!

What I had not noticed was her pining at my son leaving home and going off to college. Her behavior, her loss of weight, her trying to eat what my son must have surreptitiously fed her was seen by me as annoying behavior (that had cost a fortune in expensive blood tests) without realizing the love and devotion even a cat could have. How could I have been so blind??

The more I thought about it the more I could understand why I had not seen Fuzzball’s behavior for what it really was. We can sometimes be SO wrong in reading emotion. There are those who do not indulge in drama, those that are stoic and those that hate sharing their feelings and they are the ones that are often thought of to be cold, distant and unfeeling. Little do we know how loyal their love and devotion can be and how quick we are to judge, simply because their hearts are not worn on their sleeves (or paws for that matter)

The other piece of this puzzle is the fact that we tend to believe that our own emotions are more intense, more credible and need more attention than anybody else’s. Little wonder that this is one of the foundations of disagreements when relationships fall apart. People tend to be so caught up in their own feelings and emotions, they have little time or desire to acknowledge, let alone understand how the other person feels. And when we read the other person wrong, so much of what we feel is based on false perception or sadly even hearsay. I know it was with me. I was so caught up in my own fears and anxieties that I stopped to even consider that a cat could have just as much love for my son as I did and I had taken the strange expression of her love and devotion as nothing more than annoying behavior.

It is easy to love and admire the beautiful and the perfect but it takes a deeper understanding to love and respect the strange, the bizarre and the annoying. But if you look deeper into these behaviors you may be surprised by the depth of feeling and the constancy of purpose carefully hidden away. I reached home and let Miss Fuzzy out of her travel cage, getting her some kitty treats for being such a patient traveler. I looked into those inscrutable green eyes and envied the love that she had for my son while a part of me was embarrassed at my doubting it in the first place

Standing there in the kitchen it was as if I was seeing a new cat for the first time. Fuzzy must have sensed what I was thinking  for she came up to rub around my legs. In my heart I silently thanked her for her love for my son and the lesson that she had taught me today

Although I still wish she would not climb up on countertops and eat croissants to be the teacher that she was

Just sayin’………..

Change

‘Ring out the old, Ring in the new’! That’s the theme of our lives of late. New developments in all our lives. But change isn’t easy. And doesn’t happen at one go. There’s no ‘new’ pushing out the ‘old’ in one go. Sometimes there is no pushing out at all. Both co-exist and that is even crazier!

I’m in Delhi for the seven-week training of my new job. Which is exciting, especially since the work is something entirely new and different from anything that I’ve done in the past. I’m really looking forward to this job. Maybe this is what I’ve been looking for. Jobs are like life partners that way—you want ‘the one’ but sometimes settle for something that isn’t because that is what you can get. Maybe this new job is my ‘one’. Who knows? My other ‘one’ is busy with his own new changes and challenges in the meantime.

He’s not run the household for years but he has to do that now along with handling the increasing workload at his office. Tough balancing act. I’m so proud of my man! If there’s anyone who can do it, it is he. But it can’t be easy I know. And strange things keep happening. And the boys just keep falling ill by turns. Pippin is still under medication for urine infections. We are all of us sick and tired of the boys suffering from urine infections. If only we could figure out how to make them drink more water and get some exercise so they’d lose weight!

Talking of weight, I just hope I’m not putting on any more. I’m not doing any housework here. And getting food thrice a day. And pretty decent food (at least the food at the guest house where I’m staying is quite good) does tend to accumulate in all the wrong places. But I am digressing. I need to read the magazine on obesity in cats and make a plan for my boys. But I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Besides, even if I manage to do that, I don’t think my husband and the new ‘nanny’ for my babies (I had to get one. I couldn’t stay away from home for seven weeks without that arrangement in place. She’s full time and does other housework as well.) can handle it just yet. Because he is overwhelmed with work. And she keeps falling ill. I’m just hoping and praying that it isn’t anything serious because what will I do if she goes home??? (I must remember not to panic, like I’m on the verge of right now, until something actually happens.)

I’m rambling but that’s not unusual considering that I’ve been up since 6 am. Yes, that’s right. 6 am. I’ve been getting up early so that I can stay on top of the work that I have to do for the training. It’s a rigorous schedule and though I’m not getting enough sleep most nights, the hard work is the only thing that stands between me and the pain of separation from my family. I hardly miss them too much during the weekdays. The weekend is a different matter. I’m hating the weekends. Probably for the first time in my life. And I’ve had a nightmare about Eva. I’m missing them all so, so much!

Still, it’s all for a better future. For everyone. For now, though, my personal wishlist reads like ‘thirteen impossible things before breakfast’. 1) My boys get better and don’t fall ill again. 2) My boys get to their ideal weight and maintain it. 3) I complete my training with flying colours. 4) My husband... (well, that one’s a secret). 5) Eva becomes friends with her brothers and they all live in harmony (they haven’t adjusted yet). 6) My ‘nanny’ gets better very soon and stays on. It’s not thirteen items long but even this modest list seems overwhelming. But like I stated before, change is not easy. I’m still just hoping that in my life, finally, it is for the better!

A Daughter This Time

I have not posted anything in a long time because my boys were going through a long spell of illness and I did not feel like writing about them under the circumstances. But something has happened to shake me out of my self-imposed lethargy. I have acquired a daughter!

On the 21^st of July, I heard plaintive crying in the landing outside my house. Assuming that the cat sitting there belonged to my 2^nd floor neighbour, who is the only one besides us in the building who has a cat, I went to enquire if she had lost her cat. No, she said, her cat was quite un-lost. Feeling sorry for the stray, we tried to give it away but found no one even remotely interested. Unwilling to leave her to the mercy of the world, I took her in hoping that one of the NGOs working with strays would be able to help.

That did not happen. They were all quite unhelpful despite all that they say in their ads. One lady I talked to was rude in the extreme and all she cared about was getting the cat spayed irrespective of the risk to her health or life. By then I had made up my mind. I would keep her. That evening we took her to our vet. He examined her and pronounced her healthy. The spaying, he declared after examination, would not be risky. I would have to care for her for a week to allow for her recovery. Since I had already decided to keep her, this was not a big concern. She had her surgery on the 24^th. She is quite all right now. She plays and runs and jumps and puffs up to twice her size upon sensing my boys on the other side of the closed door before greeting them with growls, hisses and yowls of anger.

It hasn’t been easy. Not by a long stretch. She is slowly adjusting to her new life, which is diametrically opposite to her previous one. She hasn’t yet adjusted to my boys and they have to be carefully kept apart. She is forever hungry, it seems, and hasn’t yet come to terms with the fact that food will not be scarce any more. She is very sweet, friendly and affectionate but suddenly gets agitated and aggressive even without provocation. She has been dewormed but her other vaccines are still due. It will be a challenge to remain patient and affectionate with her given that she now reigns over one of the bedrooms almost the entire day. Our boys have been great sports, accepting her and the changes that have come along with her. They have been trying hard to make friends though success is still far. I couldn’t ask for more cooperative boys.

I have named her Eva. Those who have seen ‘WALL-E’ will understand why. She really is sweet and affectionate. She is this thin, small thing with a tail that seems to reach from here to the moon! She is intelligent and has already developed some good habits. She wears her colourful collar with the red bell quite coolly. This by no means proves that I have belled the cat, though! It has been only ten days since I found her out in the corridor. There is a long and hard path ahead for all of us—humans and cats alike. Here’s hoping for the best!

What Happened o Mr. Roach?

Mr. Roach was last seen alive on the night of the 5^th of April in the year 2013. He had just left his residence and had started going about his business when he was beset by four of his deadliest enemies. They worked in tandem to capture and assassinate him. He fled for his life, using the utmost skill to dodge his foes and to escape with his life. When I saw him, he was in terrible danger, almost overcome by one of his fatal enemies. He was running helter-skelter, leaping here and there and generally making desperate efforts to flee or hide.

I tried to help him; it did not work. He did not understand that my efforts were targeted at a rescue; he fled from me until I could no longer be of any service. He ran into the dark, narrow crevice where neither his enemies nor I could touch him. Perhaps he hoped that he had finally cheated death. Perhaps he just wanted to rest before making a final dash for liberty. Who knows? I could not wait around for him to emerge. I had done what I could. His fate was out of my hands now. I left, while his assailants sat down nearby, unable to follow him but still hungry for his blood and willing to wait.

Next morning, I saw a part of one of his legs being carried away by ants in the bedroom. Another part of a leg was found under the living room window. I had no idea where the rest of him was, though it was all too clear what had happened. I could surmise that he must have gotten tired of waiting and, thinking that the coast was clear or even knowing that it wasn’t and too desperate to wait further, he had made a mad dash to freedom. And had failed. I do not know which of his foes dealt the final blow or when. I was, however, curious to know what had happened to his body. Even a thorough search failed to uncover the corpse. It was a mystery.

Hours later, close to midnight, I learn that his body had been found by my husband that morning. It had already been too late by then. My husband had disposed off his body. That was why I had failed to find any traces of him besides the two torn fragments of his legs. The mystery was solved. I felt sorry but I could not reproach myself with his death; I had done all that I could have done.

RIP Mr. Roach, Mr. Cock Roach.

Happy Bath Day 2

This one is about a few pointers for giving baths to cats. I am no expert but these are things that I have figured out from my own experience. There are three stages: Pre, During and Post.

Pre-bath:

1.       Clean the bathroom and especially the area where the cat is to be given the bath.

2.       Clean the entire house since the cat will run round after the bath.

3.       Have everything ready and in place for action before you even bring the cat into the bathroom. Once operation kitty bathing starts, there will be no time to stop and make arrangements.

4.       Make sure that the weather is not too cold or wet or the cat might fall ill.

5.       Be prepared mentally and otherwise to take a bath right after giving the cat(s) one. Reason? You will HAVE to. The odds of your remaining dry after the cat is done with its bath are heavily against.

During bath:

1.       Have a strategy suited to the particular cat’s needs; if it is shouts more, like Merry, don’t start with it; if it is strong, like Pippin, don’t wait till the end because you might be tired; if it doesn’t mind the water too much, like Sam, you might want to start with it; if it is easy to manage, like Frodo, and you are tired, you might want to wind up the process with it.

2.       Act fast, act efficiently. No dillydallying.

3.       Remember that the chances of the cat becoming more aggressive in its efforts to escape are higher after you have applied the shampoo. It is one of those things like Murphy’s law, I think.

4.       Towels! Big, fluffy ones, preferably. Wrap the cat in it and rub him quickly but gently so that you can get most of the water out. You DO NOT want a dripping cat running amok all over your house.

5.       Reinforcements, if possible. It is extremely difficult to give a bath to a reluctant cat single-handed!

Post-bath:

1.       Make sure that the cat is comfortable and not sitting in a place where it can catch a cold.

2.       Have your own bath, since you will be dripping in all likelihood.

3.       Clean up the bathing area of the cat(s) and wash everything.

4.       Be ready to groom your cats, especially those who are not very enthusiastic about grooming themselves.

5.       Feed your cats something they like soon after they are a little soothed, so that they can calm down faster.

Let me just end with a couple of quotes about cats and baths.

Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels and their bath look like a collection of knitting mistakes.

Eric Gurney How to Live with a Calculating Cat (Courtesy of www.catquotes.com)

Cat bathing is a martial art.

Anonymous (Courtesy of http://user.xmission.com/~emailbox/cattags.htm)

Happy bath day to all of you and your cats!